Michelle thanks him, graciously and goofily, and he just keeps piling it on, and before you know it he’s saying shit like, “I took the liberty of making us a dinner reservation for tonight” and other stalker stuff. You know, I don’t think the Friend Zone is a very valid reason to be shitty about women, but even more than that I don’t think the Friend Zone is really a thing: It’s called trying to be nice about the fact that I’m clearly not interested.

And so when you push it, or stalk, or whine about how Nice Guys Lose or Women Only Like Assholes, or complain about the Friend Zone itself, it’s a really gross expression of privilege in at least two ways, because men are told they can have whatever they want — nothing new — but women are in turn told to never piss anybody (men) off, so it’s a car accident of two things that we shouldn’t be taught in the first place. What you’re saying is that you think you’re in love, but you have no idea what that means, or else you would respect the woman enough to take her at her word instead of trying to trick her or wear her down.